I Wanted For You to Love Me Forever

Clouds are forming overhead

My sun has gone away

Happiness belongs in the past

These tears are here to stay

You said it was different

But once again you lied

Now I’m left crushed

My feelings I cannot hide

Those three simple words

Left me hanging on you

Your arms around my waist

Kept my feelings so true

I wanted for you

To love me forever

But that was too much

For you to endeavor

I hope you’re happy now

Running after your dream

I hope you make her as happy

As happy as you made me seem

You told me you loved me

That it was forever and true

You were ever so sweet

I wondered how I found you

Broke my heart

Told me I was dumb

After all you’ve put me through

My feelings have become numb

I’ve shed and ocean of tears

For you who once was my life

Little did I know

What I’d do with this knife

Sliced my skin

Indulged in my self-hatred

Thought no one else would love me

As much as you said you did

But now I have moved on

And you’re still chasing that dream

The only thing that bothers me is

That I’m not as perfect as I use to seem.

its a rainy night...

just got done with this conversation with my father. it was a good thing we had it i supposed. hes worried about me and i guess he should be in a way? i dont know. all i know is that im gonna try and turn the wrong things in my life around to good. he got furious when he read something so i have to talk to someone as soon as i can. i hope that they get on here soon. these next couple weeks my parents and i are gonna work on our "trust" issue...i really do want to work things out in my family. i really would like to be able to talk to them about things. i think i relate to my dad more then i can to my mom. in fact i know i can relate to him more. its easier to talk to him. i mean he seems all mad all the time and stuff but i feel as if my life is more like his then it is like my mothers. anyways, i was even able to tell him about how mom doesnt even let me around one of my best friends, JULIE. i love her to death and without her, i know that my life would be more of a mess then it is now. she means so much to me. shes one of the most important people in my life. i hope she knows how much she means to me and that i probably would not be here if it was not for her.

i want to clear this up too, because i know all of you guys know this, but my parents read these xangas and i want them to know that i am a virgin still. i dont think that they believe me on that, but i am.

well anyways...tonight i picked up david and we went to nae's softball game. cathy sat with us. i saw amy too! yay! i love amy! shes awesome! anyways david is a GAG! lol

Lauren

walk alone on the streets tonight and feel nothing....

woke up like a half hour ago...feel like shizznitzle! throat is sore, cant breath through my nose, ears itch, eyes feel puffy...grrr...stupid allergies!

anyways....im talking to missy right now! got to get her a man!! muahaha! any takers leave me a comment and ill tell her! haha!

today i have NO plans...boring day i can tell already. all i ahve to do is chores....sound like fun doesnt it?

man i really need to find out when i have court! the papers never came so i guess i have to call.

im still waiting for that picture to come in from ty, too. i really want to see it! im anxious!

i really need a job too. all i have left for the summer is $5! ahhhhhh!!!! that will suck if i dont get any money at all!

QUESTION: if someone knows that you have a boyfriend and you keep on telling them that you wont cheat on them, why do they keep on bugging you to forget that person for a day and go mess around with them?

Lauren

we both know that you were better...

church in like 3 hours...blah..hate it! um....i wanted to sleep until 10, but that didnt work...grrr....tried to fall back asleep but its impossible...im sooo tired though!

so david is supposed to come over today, but i dont know if there is a race or not so we might not have anything to do....stupid nascar,,i hate it but my parents love it. i dont know why? so i guess we will see what happens

so i got a new picture up....its of my brother (Jef) and me....haha i know lame but i think its a cute picture...and i put a new song...Finch "What it is to burn"

well im hungry now...bubyes

Lauren

anything for you, is what you told me the day i sat there with you. so i know nothing lasts forever. when will we realize its gone?

yesterday was the last day of school! yay! its over. i ended up with a D+ in algebra 2 :( i thoguht i was doing better and i ended up doing worse! ahhhh! that upsets me! oh well...ill try harder next year.

after school kayla took me home so i could change for the concert and then we went to her house for her to get ready. we picked up timmy...listened to some music in the car. got lost for a second. haha. oh well.

at the concert, like as soon as i got out, david, brenae, dustin were walking towards where i was. um....so we were ther fore  a while. then david, dustin. brenae, luke, kelsey, and i walked to starfire to get food since there was no food there and i had not eaten all day! which sucked becaus ei love food! yummy yummy yummy! then we came back....the concert wasnt really eventful. oh well. the whole reason for me to go was to see where you begin but of course they didnt play and it sucked because i had to like beg so that i could go! that upsets me there!

um...kayla decided to stay in zville, so i had to find a way home. dustin said that his mom could probably take me home and she did. thank you much!

didnt talk to like any zville kiddies. oh well. like it matters anyways. im starting to only be able to stand a few of them anyways.

BRENAE WHERE IS THE STRIPPER? HAHA! LOVE YA LOTS!!! MUAH!

Lauren